This seems like the perfect day for my very first post. Mother’s Day. Years ago I really couldn’t have imagined what it would feel like to be a mom and the passion and protectiveness you have for your child. This fierce love is incomparable to anything else. I get it now.
Many may argue that Mother’s Day and many other holidays are ones invented by Hallmark. Well, so be it. The reality is that it makes you pause and think about your mother and your own role as a mom, so I’m okay with that. For me, today has become a day of reflection.
I’ve only had three precious mother’s days so far, and each year we were in such a different place with Henry. These first years of life are frantic with growth and development, and looking back, the changes are remarkable. The first mother’s day we were still learning the ropes of being parents to a newborn, navigating life with very little sleep and very little idea as to what we were doing. Our days were filled with feedings, diaper changes and marveling at the beauty of this tiny creature. The second mother’s day we were figuring out Henry’s food allergies, managing his reflux, in awe of his emerging personality and wondering when would he walk, when would he talk? This Mother’s Day we could not have anticipated having some of the same questions. We have this marvelous, smart and funny toddler and yet we still wonder…when will Henry talk? Will he talk at all? What’s going on in that cute little head of his?
I went to brunch with my Mom, sister and niece this morning. It was nice being all together after living far away for so many years. My hour drive home alone gave me a lot of time to reflect. I found myself in tears the entire ride. Tears of joy and tears of sadness. First, I thought of how lucky I was to have my mom, who is vibrant and loving and in good health. Then I thought of my friend who lost her mom in this past year and what a difficult day she must be having, and how I missed her mom too. Then of course my thoughts turned to Henry. How I wished he would call out to me… “mama!” or ” I love you!”. How I wished he didn’t have to struggle. I was having quite the pity party. I let myself be sad for a little bit…but then it was time to rejoice. To be thankful for this amazing little boy that I am honored to mother. A boy who may not talk, but has the most loving nature, an amazing smile and infectious giggle. He loves to dance and to draw…he has his mama’s love of books and his daddy’s love of sports. He’s quick to hug and is generous with his kisses. He loves being around family and friends and is the most easy going, good natured two year old you will ever meet. (this is where my tears of joy come in)
I am lucky. I am blessed. Reflecting on this day is a good thing, whether it’s a manufactured holiday or not. It reminded me of the great things about parenting, as well as the challenges. It made me hopeful for the year ahead, even knowing the hard work involved. What will next Mother’s Day bring? Will I hear those words “I love you”? I sure hope so. In the meantime, I’m enjoying and loving every bit of him! Happy Mother’s Day to all of you amazing mamas out there. It’s so worth it, isn’t it?